Wow! I feel like it has been a long time since I've last journaled. In actual fact it's almost two days and it's amazing what can happen in two days! I remember when I was writing my last entry - Jonathan (and I) were recovering from a rough and traumatic night - but would you believe things have turned completely around! The blood transfusion seemed to be a success, coupled with the pain medication, so much so that Jonathan was off the bed and in a wheelchair more and more on Wednesday. He got a chance to visit the 'big' play room and was so taken with all the toys and various art and craft projects that it's an excellent incentive for him. On Wednesday evening he also started walking on his own. Although I was not there to witness the actual walk - I met him in the hospital corridor. It was so great to see him up and about - it's absolutely amazing and such a relief to see him bouncing back.
Wednesday night was the first night Gabby stayed at the hospital. Luckily for her - Jonathan was on his 'road to recovery' - so both Jonathan and Gabby got a chance to rest. Although the original plan was for me to spend Wednesday night at the hospital - Jonathan insisted that he wanted his mommy to spend the night with him. We are guessing it could be a combination of two reasons - he associates having pain with daddy - since I was there for the first two nights - or he doesn't like to see me panicking or stressing out? He even requested that Gabby stay tonight - but I told him it was on the condition that his daddy could spend the night tomorrow, i.e. Friday night.
I've come to realize that we really need to alternate spending the night with him - since I'm starting to see the toll it takes out of me ... of us. My first night home was good. I slept eight hours - woke up once after six hours - and I felt I could have slept for another 4 hours. I remember reading the 'consent for treatment' form this morning and after four pages I finally understood what an anxiety attack feels like. Our 'consent for treatment' document is 32 pages long and describes every single thing in detail. How depressing! In actually fact - some of the reading wasn't as depressing as others. My impression of his steam cell transplant may have been way off compared to reality and so my mind was a bit more at ease.
Wednesday was also the day that Jonathan moved to the Oncology ward for treating cancer (pediatric) patients. The style of the rooms are still the same - so two patients share a room. I remember on his first night in his new room - seeing his roommate - an actual cancer patient who (apparently) has been getting treatment for quite a while. It was quite a shock. She didn't have any hair on her head. It was like getting a splash of cold water on your face. And then I realized - wait - my son is a cancer patient as well. I had so many questions ... but no one to answer them ... but soon we'll be going though the same process as well.
I've decided that I'm going to shave off the hair on my head as well ... to help Jonathan though this difficult time ... to show some solidarity with him. After talking to the nurses today - the plan is to wait until his hair starts to fall off and then shave my own. I'll tell him that I found his hair style is so cool ... so awesome ... that I wanted to have one just like his own! Hopefully he accepts that explanation and it helps him to adjust to the changes.
All in all - I'm really glad to see my son almost to his normal state. He still has pains (occasionally) in his stomach and he complains about the 'cuts' in his body where they inserted the various instruments for the laparoscopy ... but at least he can walk around, talk and play. It's also interesting walking around with him - because he is always on an IV and so wherever he goes - we have a pole with his saline solution and dispensing machine to wheel around. One of his pain medication is on another machine that automatically dispenses it into his IV every hour - so we actually wheel around two small pieces of machinery on a pole with his saline solution. The interesting thing is that Gabby quick mastered the art of pushing his wheel chair and the pole ... at the same time. I'm getting better at it as well - and tonight was the first time I did it by myself with relative ease.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow (Friday) since Jonathan should be starting his chemotherapy in the afternoon. It will be a rough weekend and I know that he will be in a lot of pain. They say the first two treatments are the hardest ... but at least we are wiser and more knowledgeable with treating with his pain.
To everyone who are praying for Jonathan and the rest of his family - thanks so much for your prayers - and please continue praying for Jonathan. Here are some specific things we would like you to pray for:
- That the anti-cancer drugs are effective in shrinking Jonathan's cancer cells
- That the effect of the anti-cancer drugs on his good cells are minimized
- That Jonathan experiences the least amount of pain as possible and that he recovers as quickly as possible
- That Jonathan's stem cells in his blood remain as healthy as possible so that a good supply could be collected during this third chemotherapy treatment for his bone marrow replacement later in the year
- That the shipment of his various specimens and test results are received without incident and as quickly as possible.
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