It's 7:45 pm and all is well in the world. Well ... not literally but I just felt like saying that phrase. At least I'm in a much better mood than I was in last night. It was both a rough and a learning experience. Monday night and most of Tuesday was a very stressful day for Jonathan. We didn't quite get his pain under the right control and he kept waking up every two hours - sometimes staying awake for a long time because of pains to his stomach, ribs or legs. It was starting to alarm me because by 8 am this morning I realized that Jonathan hadn't eaten or drank anything for over two days. The good thing was that he was on drips - so at least he was getting hydrated ... but I wanted him to start consuming some foods - even if it was just Ensure.
By 8 am I had a discussion with the nurse and we decided to give him morphine every two hours. By 10 am the nurse decided to give him a dose of morphine and a dose of Tylenol - keeping in mind everything was according to the doctor's orders so we were not making things up along the way - even if it sounds like that. It was around that time I got a brilliant idea that I could use a syringe to wet his lips with juice and then put some in his mouth. You see - they had to put a tube down his throat during the surgery and that made his throat very, very sore. So sore and coupled with his pain management not being that good - it was hurting him a lot to just swallow saliva. I knew that his throat was very dry and I knew that he had to get something down his throat - but he was afraid - especially with the pain he felt last night.
So I wet his lips with the syringe and he licked it off. I thought - this is great, let me continue moving forward. So then I squirted a little into his mouth. He swallowed it and didn't complain much. I then emptied the entire syringe into his mouth and I asked him if he would like to drink it out of straw. He said yes. I thought - halleluiah! It's amazing how the simple, little things seem like great accomplishments these days.
At 12 pm his lunch arrived and I wanted to see if I could get him to eat something. I looked in the tray - and guess what - it was a hamburger! And would you believe prior to his surgery on Monday afternoon - Jonathan was asking for a hamburger! I thought this could not get any better. I go over to Jonathan and put the tray on his bed. I took off the cover and I say to him, "look Jonathan, it's hamburgers, do you want some?" Would you believe he said yes! I just couldn't believe it. He ate 1/4 of a burger and drank 1/8 of his milk. I know this does not sound like much - but it was great news to me.
Other than my experience with coaxing my son to eat ... it was quite interesting to look at his bandages. I spent some time cleaning parts of his body. He had something on his body that looked red but came off as yellowish / brown and it was quite an experience just wiping him down - very gently, very slowly, very carefully.
I look at my son now and he is in a deep sleep. He was talking to himself earlier ... a sign ... I think ... that he is in a good sleep ... that his brain is trying to sort things out. I should be getting to bed too - since I only got a couple hours rest that was very broken. I've been waking up whenever he cried out in pain - and I'll rush over to his bed. Sometimes I wish I could sleep standing up by his bedside - to tell you know tired I was. I am hopeful we have his pain management under control now ... but I'm still worried. The worse has not come as yet and I don't know if I have the strength.
While I was taking Arielle for a walk earlier in the afternoon - since Gabby was reading Jonathan a story - I heard that the Oncologist in charge of Jonathan's care came by. She confirmed that the biopsy of his bone marrow came back positive for cancer. Jonathan has cancer in his bone marrow. I saw that Gabby was crying or at least close to tears. For some reason I'm strangely calm ... but I know the reality will slowly hit me sometime soon.
As I end this journal entry - I just want to thank all our friends, relatives, and people I don't know - for sharing in our experience and praying for Jonathan and for us. For those of you that have sent an e-mail of encouragement to me and have not received a response - my sincerest apologies. I'm not sure I will be able to respond to each and every one of you ... but be aware that I have read every e-mail and I am grateful for the show of support and prayers. I look back on the day and wonder, "where did all the time go?", "what did I accomplish today" and I realize that the day is short, the hours numbered and the minutes lost ... but at least I spent the day with my son.
For those of you that have asked, "what can I do to help", I want to thank you so much for offering. I am sure we will have a lot of needs as the days, weeks and months go by, but here are two requests.
1. For those of you that do a lot of traveling and would consider donating some of your (AAdvantage) miles - to make it easier for Gabby and I to fly our parents up to help us out - that will be great.
2. For those of you that will like to make a financial contribution please click on the PayPal link below.
3. Continue praying for Jonathan and for all of us. As I've come to realize, our journey has now begun but thank God that the journey has started on the right 'foot'.
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