It's Tuesday morning and we're on our way to drop Arielle off by Auntie Margaret. Our doctors think that Jonathan will get admitted to the hospital today so we didn't want to take a chance and drop Arielle off to day care and then have to have one of us interrupt what we may be doing at the hospital to go and pick her up. Plus, I don't think having Arielle at the hospital right now is the best thing ... especially since she is fighting a cold.
I could just hear my mom and aunts saying - he is not going into the hospital - that the mass is nothing serious or at least not a tumor. Part of me would like to believe this - but then a part of me doesn't. I don't have the confidence that my folks have ... and I'm not sure if not having the confidence means that he wouldn't have divine intervention. I'm just hoping for the best and will just have to trust in God.
It has been an interesting morning thus far. I feel like it is the calm before the storm. Gabby and I woke up at 6 am and we forgot that we had set the alarm to use the radio instead of the jarring, beep, beep of the normal alarm sound. In some ways it was a nice way to wake up this way - more slowly, more peaceful - although at the time the radio was broadcasting news and not music.
Reflecting on the events of yesterday - Monday 17th January - it was an interesting day. I didn't go to bed until after 12 am on Sunday night and although my intention was to catch the early train to go to San Francisco for work - it didn't turn out that way. I woke up around 7 am with a splitting headache and I was thinking to myself - oh crap - what a great way to start the day. Gabby had already asked me to be quiet while I got ready for work - and I was doubly more concern about making sure that happens - especially since Jonathan was sleeping on our bed - next to Gabby. I've noticed that when Jonathan does go to bed - he has been taking some long naps and I wanted to make sure he got the chance to sleep as long as possible ... to allow his body to rest as much as it could.
My first day back out to work after hearing the news was interesting. I guess I was feeling a bit numb - it was far easier to tell people, my colleagues and friends at the office about the news. Most of my day was uneventful but on my way back home in the afternoon I started to feel a sense of dread ... started to feel scared. I guess I was afraid for the next day, of hearing the news.
When I arrived at my stop, Gabby and the kids came to pick me up. Gabby told me that Jonathan had not eaten much for the day. He only had two mini-pancakes and 1/2 glass of juice. His stomach had also started back hurting - although not as intense as before. I remember thinking to myself that I hope his pains were not coming back and that we could get him to eat later because we were both trying really hard to arrest his weight loss.
Earlier in the day Gabby was telling me that Jonathan had been asking to go to Toys R Us, and although I didn't really want to spend the money - we decided that we should take him - just to make him happy. The good thing was that Gabby had already started to explain to Jonathan what was going to happen tomorrow - how he was going to visit another doctor and the possibility of more tests. I remember Jonathan and Gabby discussing it again later in the night and Jonathan saying he doesn't want to go. That he does not want the needles - but at least he was not crying about it.
I think Jonathan is afraid of tomorrow's (Tuesday's) events. When I curled up next to him in bed - he was feeling warm. I was hoping that his low grade fevers were not starting back. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow either ... but I pray that God gives us the strength that we need.
No comments:
Post a Comment