Whoa - two journal entries back to back : ). I wonder if I'll be able to keep this trend up. It's easier to journal when I take the train into work as I have time to do stuff on the computer. I've realized that it's hard to keep a consistent pattern to my work life - and when I don't keep to a pattern everything gets screwed up. When I first went back out to work I was at negative sixteen (-16) days and I had to take two weeks unpaid leave to bring the balance up to a more reasonable amount. Now I'm up to negative seven (-7) and climbing but now I'm going to try and keep to a pattern before I take more days off than I need to.
All in all - the company has been very accommodating - which is really good. If it's one thing I don't have to worry about is my job. Well ... I have to worry about getting my work done : ) but salesforce.com is a very stable company - I cannot say the same for my previous three companies so that takes a load off my shoulders. The next two months are going to be interesting - it's crunch time for the projects I work on but I suspect that Jonathan's care is going to consume more time than I original catered for - but I figure I'll cross that bridge when I reach it.
Yesterday Jonathan got a blood transfusion because his hemoglobin counts were low. When I got into the hospital around 9 pm he was just finishing up his transfusion. I found out this morning that his hemoglobin levels dropped again - around 6.x and his platelets were at 7! We've never seen his platelets drop so low - and the last time when he has the nose bleed and the one droplet of blood that came out his eye had his platelets in the teens! So Jonathan got a platelet transfusion this morning and will be getting another blood transfusion. We've never had the experience of getting so many blood transfusion back to back and it will be interesting to see how things develop during the day.
It's interesting though - on the one hand I'm worried - but on the other hand I'm numb so I'm not as reactionary as I used to be in the earlier stages of his treatment. I remember one of the nurses teasing me last week Friday about how much I've changed : ). I was teasing her right back and mentioned that I'm on drugs but she was saying that drugs alone would not have changed me the way I did : ). I'm more easy going now - I'll admit - but I'll still make noise when things don't go the way it should - as evident during Jonathan's sixth round of chemotherapy treatment.
My fear is that if this is what we are going through now - what will it look like during the stem cell transplant? I think Gabby is worried more about it that I am - or said a different way - she is stressing out more than I am (I think). We are supposed to have a consult with the BMT team tomorrow (Thursday) and I just cannot wait to get all the info regarding the stem cell transplant procedure - what to expect, risks, etc... Like I said - the next two months are going to be very interesting ...
1 comment:
Walter, Gabby, Joe and Deeann.
I'm thinking about your family and Jonathan in particular constantly. You are all very strong and your love for your son(grandson) will get you through these tough times.
Your faith in the Almighty is unquestionable; you must hold on that in your hour of need. The past months have been callenging; so will the next two, but I believe in my heart that you will all come though this okay.
Please continue to take care of each other and of Jonathan and Arielle with the limitless love and courage you have demonstrated so far, and all will be well.
With love...always...Auntie Rose.
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